Case 57. Rongai chronicle 😂

Nairobi hukua mainly for character development, before unotice uko kwa relationship umeshaachwa kitambo, dame anakuteka akikutoka. Tulikua tumerelax mansion na my pal Mbeki tukitoa minji like niggas in Kiamaiko. Mbeki hawezi nyamaza, alikua ananiambia story nilimuambia juzi😂.Ulimi ilikua imeisha side moja kama slippers mzee buana. Tulikua tuserve hio minji on that WAP(wet ass plate) for the culture. Ilikua on a Saturday afternoon kitu saa nane hapo tukiskiza ngoma za Octo na Jones tukicompare nani ndio m-khali. Hio playlist ilikua lit kuliko gikomba, nikama tulikua kamiti juu bars zilikua zinaflow ajabu. Hii beef ya Octo inakuanga ya pesa juu nikama Khaligraph anam O G💸 Tukichill panya nono ikapita fwaa kama mi na Mbeki tumeinua miguu juu. Nikam tuma kitu tuiue, hii haingeona another day.Noma ni sisi wote tulikuwa waoga, but nikamshow mi siogopi!!. Akaleta rungu nikaipiga ya kichwa mdomo ilikua inaangalia kando nikama ilikua inajipuliza kisogo

Kiasi tukaskia knock kwa mlango, ilibidi tumetupa maganda ya minji chini ya kiti kupreserve our gangsta. Tulikua tukiziskuma na miguu nauko chini, hakuna vile tungekubali majirani waone viongozi wanatoanga minji. Maganda si huziweka kwa juala tunazitupa tao nauko CBD.😂

We had to maintain world peas, kumbe ilikua Shee alikua amekujia movie. After 10 minutes akatoka tukarudi back to default.Tukichill my pal anapigiwa simu but anakata juu simu yake ndo ilikua inaplay kwa system. Music is importanter, but alipigiwa like 3 times in a row, akapick.

Obvious ni pesa alikua anaombwa so Mbeki akashika simu akisema,”Sina Pesa”😂Ndio anaambiwa “Aii jomba mbona hukunambia mnashuka hivi Nyali na mamaa atleast nijipange niwatafutie mahali mnaeza lala?? Mgeni haji bila kusema bana we, anyway wapenda madafu nikitoka kazini niwabebee?”

Mbeki alitoa simu kwa maskio akaiangalia kwa umbaaaaali akauliza, “uko sure ni mimi ama ni wrong number?”😂. Akaambiwa “haiyaa mshikaji wako ameeka status pale wozzap akisema mnaelekea Nyali” Mbeki akakata simu ferrr fast. Kuingia online, haoni status lakini messages zimejaa😂

Akafungua ya kwanza, ilkua inasema “Kwani ulikafunga, bro mimi kwanza nmetamani coconut ukirudi uniletee, hata pesa ikiisha sema nitakutumia”😭🥺🥺Saizo sisi tuko Kiandutu tumevaa vest na tumewekelea miguu kwa meza tukitoa minji. Ilibidi tumeitisha screenshot, tulikua hidden.

Waaaaaah, Liz alikua amepiga selfie akiwa co-driver, seatbelt imepita katikati ya nyondos for the culture halafu amecrop driver. Alikua amevaa dress fupi, ilikua inacheza friendly na kijojo ndo iwache room thighs zishikwe vizuri. Caption ilikua “omw to Diani with my fiance❤”

Liz alikua lightskin, short, th th th th th thiccccc akiingia kwa apartment yenu the plot thickens. Sauti ilikua nyororo kuliko ya chainsmokers. Akilean kwa ukuta unaeza dhani amevaa Tsho ya Vans coz mgongo iko Off the Wall. Kusema ukweli red flags be yellowish when her ass phat.

Belly meat ilikua size yake kama kale kabag ka mama mboga kanakuanga kwa kiuno. Hakua na forehead kubwa, angeangalia juu haraka angeona kwenye hairline inaanzia😂. Liz alikua amekosana na budake, alikua anamkazia raha so akamove out ,alikua anacrash kwa twins flani hapa Roysa

That morning Liz aliambia Mbeki anaenda kuona her daddy so asimtext na asimcall😂. Hakuspecify which dzadzy. Kumbe alikua anaenda road trip, but the ‘a’ was silent😭. Foshoo hakuna vile Liz angelipiwa room separate ati juu ni manzi ya Mbeki😂kwani who does Mbeki think he is?😂

Mbeki anamcall anamuuliza “babe uko??” Anasema “nikona kina Shee tuko tao”😭 ‘Shee mwenyewe sisi tumetoka kumuekea movie sai tu.’ Mbeki anamuuliza “Why are you lying? Najua unaelekea coast tukona Shee hapa, why are you doing this to me😭”. Liz akamuambia “hutaniharibia siku btw”

“Huezi nitetesha kwa simu yangu, kama unaona nimekukosea unaweza fura uburst” Akakata simu. The beauty, the fuckery and the audacity of this bitch😂. Wacha Mbeki aanze kulia😭, have you ever seen a man cry,wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy. Na hivo ndo Liz alisonga kama injili

Ilibidi nmemuekea ngoma za mbogi genje kurudisha gangsta. Ilikua his first breakup but he needed it for character development, sikuizi hua haforce issues, hata mapua ikifungana anapumua na mdomo😂.Sikuzii ye huamka fwaa!! no goodmorning texts, ni battery full remove charger.

Kumbe hio konokono ilifukuzwa mtaa, so alikua anacrash hapa Roysa. Yeye na Mbeki walikua wameroll pamoja for like 6 months. Mbeki alitaka kuhoe but you can’t outfuck a woman bro, ikabidi amemaintain. Liz hakua anajua Mbeki akona mabeshte kwa contact list yake, ndo walimseti.

Siku moja hao watoi unagrind for watakuja kusema you ain’t sh!t, kuleni school fees😂. Chase your dreams, chase no hoe and chase the bag. Focus!!

I KNOW MY GOD, I KNOW MY GOD!, I KNOW MY CHURCH.

I suspected that trouble was brewing when my mother changed all of a sudden. She would no longer read us stories as often as she used to do. Her laughter was no longer spontaneous, and it was far less hearty. I would later learn that adults called it sadness while others preferred the word anxiety. An unexpected visit by my aunt confirmed my suspicions. She only came when there was deep trouble or great success. My mother had not bought us any toys of late, so I knew it was the former.

Nobody told us anything it, but we all knew it had to do with money. What else could it be? No one was sick, and no one was missing. I never worried about such things. “What is money?” I always asked, “We are a happy family with or without it.” I considered problems that have nothing to do with health or missing persons as trivial. To me, they were nothing but worthy challenges. You see, figuring arithmetic and science was easy, but understanding life was something else. Troubles gave me an opportunity to simulate scenarios in my mind while analyzing the adults around me.

My aunt had come to tell us about a miracle cure for our troubles. She called it, ‘Winners Chapel.’ She said that at this chapel lies our salvation. Even the name sounds like victory, does it not? I almost laughed at her solutions. How do you solve money problems by changing churches? Adults get sensitive when you question them so unmistakably, so I decided to keep my mouth shut. I also thought that it would be an interesting experience to meet new people and see a different church. I immediately volunteered to go with my mother to Winners.

We cut through Kibera from Highrise, followed the railway line and then made a detour near the bridge. We made our way to Makina, breathed some air, crossed the road, went through Toy Market and finally arrived at Winners Chapel where we breathed in fresh air. It was a fascinating journey. You would see the posh Magiwa Estate on one side of Line Saba and the overcrowded shanties on the other. You would also see a golf course on your right with no one in sight just before you turn to head towards the bridge and a million people struggling for space on your left. We live in an ugly country whose beauty is beyond comparison.

The people were so many that we had to watch the Church service on a screen in one of the tents. I counted about three tents or so. It felt nice being in a tent and the people look refreshed. They all had their Bibles ready just waiting for the sermon. The level of enthusiasm on their faces was remarkable. They looked like they were about to burst with joy. “Who knows?” I thought, “This church could be it.”

The preacher started his sermon oddly dressed. He did not wear any liturgical vestments. I especially liked the red ones. I always thought of myself as a miniature priest when I adorned my altar boy attire during mass. It made me feel special. I felt as though I was part of something unique, dignified and historical. I looked around, and there were no altar boys in sight. “How do little boys take part in this church service?” I asked myself, “and the girls, no dancing as the priest walks in to deliver his sermon.” I moved my eyes across the room, and I noticed that I was the only kid. I would later learn that the other kids are in another tent doing Bible study.

“Wow,” I exclaimed internally, ‘this Church gets straight to it with no ceremonies or traditions.” I turned to my mum, and she seemed equally intrigued yet sad at the same time. Winners Chapel was so different from what we know and maybe, just maybe, it had some salvation for us. Personally, I did not feel troubled at all. The world could not be better than it was right then, but my mother knew more than I did and things might not be going well after all. “Perhaps this preacher has something that will see my mother turn back into her old self,” I said to myself.

The sermon began on a high note and these people shout and praise at high volume. It was noise to my ears, but I was not in Holy Family Basilica. I will not do as they do. I will sit quietly and endure it. “Maybe the spirit will hit me next” I joked to myself. The preacher was on fire sweating uncontrollably with the hand towel totally wet. It had refused to soak up water, so an usher had to get him another one so that the water dripping from his head does not get onto the mic. The sermon had been impressive thus far, but the shocker was about to come.

“I prophesy today that something bad is going to happen to your enemy,” the preacher shouted with conviction. It caught me by surprise, and I had to take a moment to absorb that statement. At first, I thought I had heard it wrong until he repeated the same thing again without correcting himself. I could not believe I was in a Christian institution, so I started looking for signs of Christianity. These people had no crosses, no pictures of saints and no statutes of Mary, nothing. “Maybe that is why this man is talking so carelessly,” I told myself, “it is easy to forget Christ with no representations of Christianity to remind us of him.”

The person holding the mic now had my full attention. I was waiting for him to redeem himself before I would call him a preacher again. He did not. Another shocker had come before I had recovered from the first one. “You will be a millionaire by the end of this week,” the man on the podium roared, “the Lord spoke to me, and I see it in your future.” What surprised me was that he said it without batting an eye. “Madness,” I whispered to myself, “Utter madness.”

The intrigue that I had first felt flew right out of me and anger took its place. I felt as if I would jump out of my seat, stand on it and then tell this insufferable man what a fraud he is. I did not. Adults would not take kindly to it even if it were the truth. I tried to look at my mum. She looked away. She knew that this Church is not for us. We are Catholics. I never heard such reckless preaching from a Catholic priest. I had no choice but to keep quiet and listen. Troubles can make you search for answers where none exists and my mother was searching for answers.

Time for the offering came, and the fraud adopted a greedy tone almost immediately. He reminded the congregation of few Bible verses that emphasized the need for giving so that they could receive. It was a classic set-up. Make them believe that a million is on the way and then ask them to give you a few hundreds. “How naïve can adults get?” I thought, “This ‘preaching’ is nothing but daylight robbery.” Then I started seeing ushers handing envelopes to everyone. My mother got one and I got one. I opened mine quickly to see what was in it. It was empty.

“Put your sacrifice to the Lord in that envelope and shake it proudly,” the robber said, “The Lord gives to those who sacrifice in his name.” I laughed silently and then I asked myself, “Why steal with a gun when stealing from such people is so easy? Thieves need to reconsider their strategies.” Nobody would dare put a coin in that envelope. Shaking coins would make a conspicuous jingling sound while shaking one coin would still be noticeable, as one end of the envelope would swing from side to side. No one wants to appear poor or selfish, so it is putting either nothing inside the envelope or a note. He was a genius. The crook delivering the sermon was the greatest hustler I had come across by that time.

We got home, and I could not wait to tell my siblings what I saw. The summary of my story was that the Chapel was not a Church, and we should thank God that we are Catholics. My mother said that she would still go to Winners, and that was okay, but I said that would no longer go with her to that place. Eventually, she would accept that salvation was not to come from there, and if it was, we did not want it. As for my aunt, well, that is another story for another day.

THE BITTER SWEET APPLE

Apples should be sweet but they can be bitter and as bitter as lemon but again when it is not the taste we want we can always throw them away but guess what no matter how bitter or sweet life is we can’t throw it out you have to live it.Unless you commit suicide but again that is bitter and you might not die u might still be rescued and live.   Love,death,giving birth,sex all those are examples of bitter sweet you can think a little harder and try think where is sweet and where is bitter but again we have to go through them.But this life but why!?

10 am was the time i remember very well when i got this call “Hallo sasa are you ok with all effort and strength i answered yes i am ok why? ” you can imagine my loud voice as i am one cheerful and happy man do not forget handsome too.” I just called to check up on you ” That coming from someone who you joke alot is very scary.The call drops “tulu”.In the middle of the street,i started sweating i remember i went to a shop and bought water drank it all.’Uko sawa kweli?’ asked the owner of the shop ofcourse she is not my point of intrest at that time.I simply stood up and continued with my journey to school posta (Multimedia)as its called.I wasn’t a friend to God very well so i did not remember praying at that time.We all have had the moment in our lives where God doesn’t exist.Kush the noise maker, I totally forgot everything when i met my campus buddies.Suddenly my joy was back just because the lecuturer confirmed he was not coming we all had that one moment in primary,high school even campus/ college.We can all laugh at ourselves for a moment there.

‘Laughter adds your days as you live longer’ but this world who came up with this saying?.Never the less its okay to laugh.So the whole day was wasted in laughter and gossip it is time to go home.Kenyan proverb ‘ unajua mkitembea wengi distance ina kua fupi’ How now the distance is just the same.This specific day i met with someone special as i went home ‘double m’ i remembered i sat at the back sit with that special being.We did not use the same route we always used simple explanation from the conductor ‘hio njia ingine ina jam’ And just like that my life changed.I remember this as if it was yesterday as i struggle to wipe the warm tears that are rolling down my checks..

We all have that bitter sweet moment that you cannot forget,that moments that wants to make you cry but unfortunately we cannot change that one moment that is sweet as i met someone special and that bitter moment that made me hopeless.That is how life changed.We just have to eat and live the bitter sweet apple.

Yours Always

kush kush. Haille methuselassie

Exam mode mbwakni 💀😂🖐.

.

The year is …point two at at multimedia university. After studying online for a couple of weeks amounting to two and a half months we eventually came back to physical learning which essentially meant we only had two weeks before we could sit the end of semester exams. To be honest me am a typical village boy who yunufasti has brought to Nairobi, and so each time I come back to school a part of me is awakened😜- sema ushamba.

They call me kush at my school. Kush is also a name for some illegal thing I don’t wanna mention. I wonder why each name of mine has something to do with a drug. Methuselassie can also be broken down into meth 😜. Long story short am a darling of many. A moon among the stars. The playmaker and the party starter. The two weeks meant to Rick up and polish up on school work was spent in merrry making trouble causing and nights out in Rongai and its suburbs. This was all done in the thought of ‘kulipisha all the time I wasted in kisii’

They say you know campus is a learning institution during the exam period and I can attest to this. Skiza story. After the party and shenanigans I realized I had only three days to sit my exams. First I had like 4 cats I had neither done nor submitted, secondly I hadn’t paid my school fee and third I had no idea of the units I was taking to mean sikua nimesoma shiet 💔💔🌚.

The first reaction was to turn my bio on my favorite apps (twira and WhatsApp) to exam mode. Walahi I regret doing that. What followed this was a series frantic efforts to beat the deadlines. I changed my line to avoid unnecessary engagements. By Sunday I was done with my cats and I had submitted. What remained was two projects and now the biggest problem. My school fee. Hii Nairobi when you need money most you never find it. The struggle to find that fee to make sure I’d get an exam card next day is nothing I can document here without tears so I won’t go into the details. Anyways I paid it and on Monday I had my exam card.

The first exam was a public relations unit. I had never opened a pdf to read neither had I seen the lecturer or heard anything from him. Despite all that the exam was simple. You see when you got good eyes and your neighbor has a good handwriting 😜you are as good as his brains. And yes my neighbor was a bright guy and a brother’s keeper too. So alipata A me too 😜😜 akipata supp pia 🌚😉😉 but God forbid nimetema hiyo mate. Big shout out to Kasa 4 tall guy and a sports writer.

The events of the first day at the exam made me believe that am lucky and that hii exam ntapita hata bila kusoma. There is this notion that being the first grandson to Haille selassie gives me some luck since The big man is a direct cousin to Jesus. But kusema tu ukweli me niko na bahati na hamwezi istoppisha hata msimame na ratili over there 😉

So guess what after the exam me nilienda ulevi rongai 😂😂🖐. Completely stress free and confident. My friends dropped me off at school at 2300hrs that night coz I had an exam at 8 am. I then set an alarm at 5 projecting that by that time I’d be sober enough to study something little. As it would happen I didn’t hear the alarm and I woke up at 7. Then an idea stuck me. Why not go write some of the main ideas of my pdf on my seat top ndo nicopy during the eggzams. I ended up writing several paragraphs, putting no effort to camouflage the writings.

Fast forward to the exam time. Bana kumbe after struggling to do all that shit whatever I had written on my seat top only one question came💔. Nikainchangamkia teke teke then I went back to my tactics of giraffing 😂😂 nikacheza ka mimi and within 45 minutes I had finished the paper. I raised my hand to hand in the paper so that I’d go to attend to other issues that needed my attention since the exam was now becoming a by the way 😂. The invigilator a certain Cyrus Mtiaji approached and took my paper. Then the unexpected happened.

He told me not to stand up kwanza. He looked at my paper then started scrutinizing my seat top. There was no hiding of the fact that it was me who had writtten all that. He then gave me an option to redo the exam or leave and he would take a picture of all the evidence. I chose the safest thing anyone would do. The result is I wrote a lot of nothing in that paper but I don’t care. The events of that day shaped the mood and behavior of the rest of the exam days.

The rest of the days weren’t so much different from the second day and I am a living example that exams don’t kill 😂😂. To be honest this were the hardest exams of my life and the reason is the fact that I failed to plan myself. I failed to study and take my life seriously. It is a lesson learnt! All is not lost and I am not saying I’ll fail. We got so much we live for to get scared of little things as such.

SUICIDE IS NEVER AN OPTION-unknown.

Now am done with my exams and now I have realized that hata there was no hurry. I should have studied when the time was right. Now I got all the time in the world to party and travel my country but all I do is worry about the outcome of this semester’s exam. WE SHALL CONQUER … the words of Cartoon the comedian I find my strength. Advice to my age-mates. Do the right thing at the right time. There is never any hurry in this life.

Have a meaningful day ,won’t you ?🌚

Disclaimer. There might be spelling mistakes am too lazy to edit them today. Y’all know it’s a weekend.

The island.

Milk chocolate is my favorite beverage.Siping tea’ my mind is filled with thoughts and questions.What happend to us?Where did they go?Are they fine?Are they alive? We all have had this question we too have the answers lets walk and talk the journey.

Scrolling through my phone book Yes! 072499**12 it is still there.DuDuDu! DuDuDu! Yes that is the heart racing ,beating for fear of the unknown will they pick is the line even working? See your life! It doesnt kill to try.Tuuuuu Tuuu Tuuu! Haloo Hi am i speaking to Shanice? yes Kush how are you?How have you been? By this time you could see my teeth from the first to the last ofcos the smile on my face my feet up in the air conversation sweet and juicy just like the old times.’Haloo haloo Shanice usikate simu ebu niweke phone kwa charger’.Now this is the time you do not even get your phone charger.

Sadly that was the end of my conversation.Where do our friends go to?Its afternoon time for some afternoon meal.Just today i mean just today our african parents taught us when ur home lunch time meal is not a must so its just today.As i warm my food i sit and wonder where did everyone go too?At this point i know your wondering where yours went to too?

You got this well paying job that made you too busy you are no longer able to meet and mingle your too busy buying clothes and shoes,your class changes? and the people you talk too.Your other friend got a handsome,caring and loving boyfriend and she got married swam into her marriage and children therefore forgot all about friendship.’Lunch is served and your welcome by the way i am eating some left over rice and meat our economy is tough you can all attest to that’.We continue to walk and talk the journey.Where did our other friend go to?Oh! now i remember Abroad it was ‘Majuu’ They had a chance to go over seas.Ofcos the first few months were fun talking and sharing the day but as time went by all communication stopped the chance you get to see each other is on social media.She slept with my ex boyfriend and she is my worst enemy thats how friendship was lost.Ladies who is to blame your boyfriend for not being faithfull or your girlfriend.How sad!

Pretty sad how we watch friendship just get washed away.I know we all have that one friend or those friends we sit down and miss and wish you were able to call tell them what and how the day or week or month has been.What happened to #FriendsForever?Funny how we post everyday the smaller the circle of friends the more the succes.Are we real to ourselves are we honest? I need answers.

‘Siping’ tea.Evening tea is a must to an African.The circles became small because of pride,anger,jelousy and distance among other.We pretend to not need each other but we do yes we do.If you do not trust them any more change the information you have always been giving them.Friends are meant to be there in your life not in every sector as always.What are road trips without friends?What is christmas with out friends,Ladies what are baby showers/bridal showers without friends?Men what is a football match without friends?But again you have to know which friend is worth your secret,which one is worth the fun and which one is worth achievements.Every friend falls in his/her place but i still insist we all need friends.If you do have friends and good friends like i do how often do you treat them well?Just a thank you, a simple birthday treat?Friendship is golden.No man is an Island.He who knows how to keep friendship is a happy person.I dont know how true that is but i believe in that.

The journey continues

Bitter sweet 🤪

For comrades.

It’s endmonth 😁😁and right now best friends you can have are those not afraid to chew up their rent 😉Among the freedoms enjoyed by comrades is on finances. Am not talking about your account reading six figures , no. The few pennies from helb , your parents and occasional donations from your aunts and uncles or older siblings is just enough to smoothly slither you life on campus. But we all agree we have gone through ‘waya’ periods. That’s how we call it when you are broke. In campus you can use 20k in. A night but survive on 200 for the rest of the week! Don’t ask me how.

It has happened to me. Not once not twice. Niliuma waya 😖after extravagantly sponsoring some road trip to syokimau me na kina Kamaa we ran broke. Hakuna kitu Tamu ka time uko broke an mabeshte wako wako broke pia😂😂ka hujai jipata hapo be attentive 😂😂.

Since it wasn’t the first time we knew our ways. To have an epic weekend we only needed 600. That meant everyone. Was to contribute 200. Here is the budget. 120 would be our fare to and fro -hostel to mama africa. i.e we didn’t sleep in our jointly rented bed sitter when broke neither did we visit Trenton nor Diaspora lounge 😂😂😂 sema economy.

At this time we only used matatus and our SHOE-BARU 😂😂since my Subaru would mean we sell our phones to fuel it. We also avoided meeting our hoes and female classmates , we are high ranking comrades no one should see us broke! We hadn’t learnt the rules of the jungle then 🥺.

Back to the budget. 300 would be spent on muratina and a jug of jug daniels (KEG)

100 would be on pool 🎱 and the rest would go to burning inscence-weed 🤓

And that would be our night😂😂sweet sio? No women no nothing.

Forward to the night of the story. Tulipiga kaguu since tulkua tumetoka mapema. Na having eaten at our school’s mess our tummies were well taken care of. Btw ni healthy. I sometimes wonder when some village gal who campus brought to Nairobi blurts 🌚aty ‘maharagwe ya Mess inafanya tumbo igurume’. While she munched on githeri for four years in some bush school.

Nimeacha makasiriko 😂😂 so tulifika pale Mama africa around 2100hrs. Quite early but nayo for a kibandaski playing reggae, the smell of weed allover , stench of keg and tobacco crowded enviroment you can’t feel out of place. Lil ghetto experience!! The pool was empty so Kama and Ricky decided to have a jab while I organized for Jug Daniels.

Two minutes into settling I spotted a gal in some dark corner, wearing a hoodie busy on her phone but stealing glances at me from time to time. Kush is famous so I dismissed her for some random gal but when the stare prolonged i decided to approach her. It’s not common to have gals here. No campus gal comes to such places unless maybe ka ako kwa Mbogo ya mamahuru 😉😉kina Faya mamma.

I bid my time incase she was with someone. Ukiwa ghetto unacheza na rada ama uume chuma brathe. Nilkua nimeuma waya already so chuma sikua nataka😂

On taking a seat beside her , Lo! And behold, Nancy a classmate of mine. I was lost of words. I hesitated before I said hello. Now nancy was the most classy lady in our class.

She always wore trendy hairstyles which never lasted three days before she changed into a new one. Her dresses were only bought from designer high end fashion shops. Chafua couldn’t match her standards , she sat with lecturers and corporates during lunch in the MMU Hotel. while the rest of us munched on chapo dengu-worth 2million zimbambwean dollars which converted into only 70kshs.

No fresha could date her not even the self proclaimed richest comrade in Mmu ;Awitch Moni. Rumor had it that several high ranking comrades and lecturers had tried to bed this beauty unsuccessfully. She was an envy not only to the ladies in our class but also men. She was considered a hot cake an extent even getting a hug from her was considered an achievement. I remember when I booked a seat for her in class. The reward was a peck in public and a visit to my 114 HOE-STEL. Don’t ask whether I gwaraad that unhealing wound of hers 😂

That feat made me popular something that made me sit in the high table during wise men meetings at Mmu. I was even summoned to the secretary general’s house to give him tips. A series of luncheons at the student center followed to confer full status of chairman of all kevos and brayos in Rongai 😂wajanja wameelewa.

But clearly Mama Africa wasn’t her type of clubs. What brings you here sweetie ? I tackled the bull by it’s horns. Aki Kush am stressed. That’s what they say when broke 😂this gender aki…. this was new! My mind wandered as Nancy struggled to narrate her problems to me over the loud reggae. I was so absent that when Chronixx song, ‘step it’ came on I nearly jumped to the dance floor.

I couldn’t help but wonder how Nancy of all people could get broke. When she came to school one time driving a new Corolla, people said she was seeing a sponyo. I was looking for a way ya kujitoa juu enyewe I was also broke. Hatungesaidiana.

But when she asked whether I can give her 100 for supper I changed my mind. Someone once told me, ladies are the most open people when they are suffering. She went on to state how she had braved the pangs of hunger the whole day and that if I didn’t help no one else would. My heart was touched.

Quick Maths and I saw it wise to take her to the mansion-(our shared bed sitter pale ole pussy rongai). Although we were broke the mansion never lacked food and some little liquor 🥃 so I knew I won’t let myself down. A wink was the best signal to Kamaa and Ricky that I had changed my plans for the night.

Juu enyewe sikua na doo tuliamua kupiga kaguu hadi kwangu. After all she too had no money so hakuna vile angeanza kuslay 😂. We walked quietly sometimes popping a question or two. I didn’t even hold her hands nor cling to her sexy waist. I felt I would be taking advantage of her situation. I had decided to be good for today.

Pale bedsitter nilimpikia ugali mayai and some vegetables tukakula na yeye alafu tukateremsha na Minute Maid na chrome quarter. For the first time, I saw Nancy humbled. So after kukula unlike the other days when I pounced on the lucky ladies who ended up in the mansion, I sat in the couch watching a movie letting Nancy sleep alone in the bed.

Within minutes she was sound asleep. I had saved a life aki and I thank God. The light form the tv illuminated the room partially enabling me to notice Nancy’s sexy curves under the blankets 😋😜should I or should I not 😣😣whether I did or not please it’s non of your business 😠.

Note. Being Sunday guys please let’s go

To church or Maybe come to my place I have a mass going on 😂😂🖐

Rongai chronicles ; case 47. ⚠️ 🔞

As I write this story … Yule Mbaya by Otile Brown is booming on my speakers… Rasta man is heartbroken 💔 enyewe mapenzi …… Acha tu. A glass of liquor from last night still halfway empty on the table, the ashtray is full and Ofcos I’m still tipsy, eyes are bloodshot but am still as handsome as ever or maybe not 😂😂. Does handsomeness belong to the eyes of the beholder too ? Across the room lies a bundle of a human 😜beautiful as the sun ☀️ who’s curves the blankets aren’t doing enough to hide 🥵somehow I’m tempted to stop writing and hop over but you need the mushene 😂don’t you? 🤓

Who is she ? I won’t say 😂😂 but see I will tell you every other thing. See last night I decided to have a party for one. Tho right now I can’t say it was for one. I wanted time alone. I wanted to drink my troubles away and puff them away coz of late I have plenty. Sheriff alkua amecheza ka yeye. By 2 pm I had my g bag already…

And just like Musa I’d cut waters after burning the Holy insensce. What else do you need for a Friday ? Sometimes I think we are normalizing all the bad things. But then is bad bad if it makes you feel good ? So really I had all I needed to make my weekend lit 🔥.

Bena called in at 1700hrs. ‘Heey Gustavo ‘😂😂 his voice reverberated on my AirPods, ‘…….it’s friday ‘ you know what that means. But today I wasn’t gonna fit in anyone’s plans. I had decided. So I just told him niko na manzi. That was the only way to convince him ndo tusiende ulevi Diaspora 😂😂. Haya basi bro usiangushe mbogi 😂 he signed out sting he and the boys will be going out to Ngong for the night. In campus you are either drinking, smoking or fucking 🤓🙈- Jacob Odongo. Philosophy lec mmu 2021.

I felt guilty for lying to my best friend. But then I had no choice. But since I had talked about a gal I thought why not maybe find one to spend some time with. Maybe a walk, a talk or even a cuddle I won’t mind. But where are they that want that 😂I called Silvia, a sweet gal from migori. Her sweet smile to me had got me having fantasies but I’d realize later that I was wrong. Ndo wahenga husema don’t judge a book by looking at its cover. Now am saying don’t judge a girl by looking at her smile. Our 20 minutes chat with the gal of my dreams just frustrated me more and now I wanted even more to stay alone and lock everyone out of my life 💔💔

I got back to my crib downed two glassfuls of some biter substance made by keroche breweries 😂😂. It did the trick. I sat there completely zoned out a blunt in my hand, a glass on the other and thoughts on my head. By now darkness had engulfed the beautiful blue sky in upper karen and comrades were rushing to meet their better halves and others like me were rushing to fill their stomachs with cheap liquor 🥃 at mama Africa.

Music does it’s thing when high 🥵. I

Made moves at it. Dancing In the fashion of MR embarambamba 😂😂😂🖐. Ever had fun alone ? I tell you it’s a vibe. I like it and I’ll do it over and over again. Time nayo ilkua haisongi. It seemed like I was in another world Acha kua inchi ingine. And atleast here there are no melons to fall on. On the screens was a movie -sex life season 1 on the speakers some old reggae tunes. Kidogo tu hivi nikaskia Ku! Ku! Someone was knocking.

Who’s that ? I thought ni mawochi. Juu yes the smell of the herb travels far. I sat down my heart thumping. I lowered the volume, then I had them now. Methu fungua Bana… Stacy amelewa 🥺🥺. That was Mitchelle. What was she doing at my place at this time. I checked my watch. It was still seven pm. Aaah kwani time haisongi. I opened the door. They were there. Two gals stranded and cold tho as sleek as ever. Mitchelle was in a hurry. Aki Stacy amelewa na tulkua twende Ole kasasi na sa hatuezi fika. Unaeza mwacha alale hapa kwako ntamkujia kesho. My heart thumped even faster 🤓🤓. Yaani unaniletea mtu amejimarinate mwenyewe kwangu 😜😜 mungu hukuja na njia mingi aki ☺️☺️.

I helped them in and bid Mitchelle goodbye all smiles almost saying asanti kwa food 😂😂. ‘Na usimfanyie kitu we malaya 😏😏😂😂🖐. Nakujua sana 😂’. She warned hata ye anajua she had taken a goat to the slaughter house 🤓and it was just a matter of time before the slaughter house would turn bloody and sure become a kitchen and then a dinner table where the goat soup will be licked and chewed 😋😋🥰 and that’s nairobee 😂😂the door lock chimed sweetly and I broke into a Lil dance, my new companion was way too weak to join me but she sat there looking at me behave foolish with her sexy sleepy big eyes, they turned me on instantly 😜.

The next one hour was spent familiarizing with Stacy. At least now she had started regaining. One look at her and I just could come into that i half this beauty all to myself. She then asked where Mitchell was … that was bad. I knew I had to do something or I’ll have trouble. Mitchelle is coming. Then I flashed a lighter as if to ask …, do you ? Her eyes widened as if she had seen gold 🤪. It was a yes and there wasn’t a doubt. And just like that…..

Two blunts down and my confidence had grown double. I couldn’t help but drool at this beauty Queen I was holding in my arms. Her butt cheeks pressed her miniskirt nicely, holding up the number 8 figure 🥰🥰 I was hard. I didn’t hide it. Her lips looked so pink and sweet I wanted to taste her 🥵🥵. She smiled so gorgeously I salivated. Her tirriez poked her small crop top really sweetly,

I put my hand on there slowly at first fearing she might resist. She didn’t. I pulled her closer 😜I touched her lips with mine and we our tongues locked and rolled into an ecstasy rousing venture 🥵🥵I now put my hands in her pants she wasn’t wet 😖I paused the kissing . Our eyes met 😂😃. Her face suddenly became pale and she shrieked 😖😖☹️☹️ who are you ? Do I know you ? Take me to Mitchelle 😕You wanna fuck me Juu ya kunipea blunts mbili 😂. Fuck you. I’ll call the police!

….. 🖐🖐🖐🖐🖐😖😖😖😏🖐😂😂🥵🖐🤓🤓🖐☹️🤓💦💦💦💦💦🍆🍆🍆🍑🍑🍑🍑🍆🍆💦🍑🍆💦😖😖😖😖😖 story of my night. Good morning 😂.

Disclaimer. I wrote this in a hurry and it got typos and Misphrases, plus provocative words.

Therefore the story might be true or not please don’t overthink.

I HAVE NO SENSE FOR STYLE.

I was to write about a heartbreak, but I chose to write about an experience I had a few hours ago. I have no sense of style, what I find in my closet is what I wear. I decide to buy a pair of jeans at the local supermarket seeing as I have none right now. I look at the sizes, and I pick what suits me in quick succession. The young girl staffing the aisle walks up to me. I quickly tell her that I know where the dressing room is. I thought that she wanted to point me in that direction. She says okay and allows me to proceed.

I come out of the tiny dressing room, and she asks me if the jeans fit. I tell her yes and immediately she says, “That is nice, but these jeans are the one you will be taking with you.” I feel surprised. She is not rude at all. She says it so softly you would think she knows me. I indulge her by saying that I am not sure the one she is holding up fits. She gestures for me to give her the one I am holding. I oblige her and then she hands me the one she has in mind. “Try it,” she says, “it will look good on you.”

I protest stating that people ‘will see me.’ She almost laughs, but she manages to feign seriousness. “Well, that is the point” she answers. I take it feeling as though I have no choice. She somehow wrestled power out of my hands, and her decision is final even though it is my money. I had already decided to buy the other one, so it is not about her earning commission or making sales. It is even more puzzling because supermarket attendants receive basic pay. I felt startled by her calmness, amazed at her audacity and flattered by her concern.

I look at myself in the tiny dressing room, in those skinny yet stylish jeans. I mock them regularly, and here I was, wearing them, and they start looking good. I do not see how they look good, but they must because I am about to buy them. I would not do it if I were alone, but she has decided that it looks good on me. No does not seem to be part of her vocabulary. I walk out of the dressing room wearing it just to show her how hideous it looks on me. It was a big mistake. She likes it, and so does her co-worker. An old woman just passing stops to see what we three are talking about with such fervor. She jumps in the conversation and soon, it is three against one.

I concede defeat, change into what I came with and then I find her holding another pair of trousers. “The ones you have on are too big for you. You will come for this one next time,” she asserts, without twitching an eye. At this moment we thoughts of my GUSII ancestors would think of me flash across my mind. I want to protest, but I cannot. It is true. The one I have on is a bit big for me and the one she picked looks like it will fit me perfectly. Then she moves on to the shoe section showing me which ones are in and out of style. At this point, I thank God that I do not have any money. “You will buy these later,” she says and then she adds, “I cannot believe that you wanted to buy that jean trouser, so boring.”

Being a journalist I don’t know this will affect me. Maybe I should get a girl to advice me on what to wear and what not to, whatchu think ?

Transactional love?

Today, I went to the salon (unisex). I cannot say what for because I do not know the technical name for it. All I know is ‘nilienda kutrimiwa moustache’. Since this beards zianze kumea I have taken a keen interest in making them look nice. Some chick came in and sat in the chair next to me as I waited patiently for my turn. Maybe I should have been putting my head in water as the famous Swahili saying goes – ukiona mwenzako ananyolewa tia kichwa chako maji 😂is it that correct ?

I looked over yonder. Lo and behold, she was a beautiful, young, and well-endowed chick. One of the girls attended to her. They talked briefly and then the girl left her to get the materials for the job (I assumed).

The chick removed her phone from her bag and called someone. She asked, “uko wapi?” The person replied then the chick added, “Hiyo ni poa. Niko salon.” The person replied. Then the chick continued, “ni 3,000.” The person replied. The call was over.

I assumed the person was her boyfriend. It seemed like a mutually beneficial arrangement from what I could discern. She was gorgeous. He was rich and in need. These arrangements are common in the big city. They do not surprise me.

What struck me was that there was no emotion in her call. She did not say thank you. She did not feign happiness. It was just business. Send me the cash. You will receive your end later.

Pragmatic, that is how I can describe her. Fully aware of her value to him and what she can get in exchange for that value. The funny thing is that she seemed capable of love, one who would easily blush if you told her the right words in the right way.

That is the funny thing about life. We all have the capacity to love and to embrace the truth. Why do we choose other things? Well, the structure of society is such that seeking love and truth comes with great difficulty and pain.

For example, would you willingly accept poverty when a man can offer you the world in exchange for your affection? When so many guys want you for a few minutes including the one you love, why not choose the one who will spend on you.

All is fair in love and war. If you can use your money to secure the one you love, then why is that wrong. If you cannot live without her, then why not use everything at your disposal to get her including money.

Now, I would not do that. I am looking for someone to love me. That is my tragedy. I have felt the love of women before, and it is beautiful, women who love you for who you are. I would not want anything less than that.

However, I cannot judge those who choose different paths. Do not judge these women. Do not judge these men. We all have our demons, seen and unseen. We are all sinners especially those who think that they are holier than others are.

Disclaimer: perhaps she was talking to her dad, brother, uncle, or even mother. I do not know.

Nai-raw-bee

I had this gal who used to bother me every weekend. Aty niende Thekah kufanya ukulima coz it was always raining on her and she was wet🤓. Any man would tell you mechi za away ni no go unless nyi ni majirani😉. So each time I would come up with excuses and cancel on last minute 😁. One time, dryspell ilininyorosha nikaamua ka Mbaya Mbaya😎alaaar! My mpesa bal was itching me, we all know campus dudes hatujazoea Ku handle figures with 3 zeroes unless they are after a decimal 😂

Vee and I had stopped talking tulkua tu viewers wozzap 😂. So I reached out to her asked her if she had any plans for the weekend and she said naah 😊. I suggested she comes to Rongai for the weekend akakubali. Akaniambia nitafute mashada coz she’s a rasta lady and I was happy I won’t have to share my Hennessy with her😂am that selfish😜. The time was 0855 am Rongai time on a friday. I had no lessons iyo day , si unajua tu Fameco we have a four day weekend🥳🥳so I began the preparations for an epic weekend!

The story is long and short 😂😂. Hurting and hilarious at times 😂. I wish I could use a voice note here 😔. We spent an idlic morning and mid afternoon chatting our fantasies of how we would devour each other that night and the whole weekend 🤓🤓big man nilkua nimebuy hata bandos za kuvideo call kuonyeshwa what my likkle darling was bringing to me 😎😎. ‘This is why we worked hard in high school 😂😂’Okindo Matara one of my best friends and cousin loves to say akiangukia a masterpiece of creation from this other gender😜I was feeling it no lie 🥳

Hapo saa Tisa galshauld akaniambia ameenda kuoga na atatoka kukuja tao anytime now🤩sema sherehe🥳. Nikapiga sit-ups fifty kwanza na press-ups kumi Alafu nikajiekea katot ka tei 😋. Wooofer volume 100 bass at Max -on stereo a reggae mix by Dj Demakufu 😇😇sikujua vile one hour iliisha. Tukutane tao hapo MR price came the message. Teke teke huyo mimi kwa nganya. I made several calls to tell my friends I won’t be available that weekend and they should not worry 😂. I even called my mum as if asking for blessings 🤪🤪

All was set. Nilifika tao at sex pm. Hurriedly nikafika hapo MR price I was a bit tipsy and I liked it 😊. My face was all smiles. Vee was not reachable on phone but she was online. My texts went unanswered for some few minutes. Tension was building up. Nikaamua nipige raundi kwanza. Nikafika Platinum highlands , doba ilkua inacheza karibu iniattract. You got a bigger business My mind would retaliate 😒. I kept glancing at my phone. Mtoto wa Jezebel bado hajareply. It was now sex forte sex🥸.

Nikarudi hapo mr price. I scanned all the faces and my hopes fell🥺🥺😔. Yaani nilkua nimekula fare yangu mwenyewe, enyewe earth is hard. Nilitafuta mahali pa kukaa nijitulize mawazo nisicommit susaid😩😩. Nilijipata naongelesha iyo statue ya Tom Mboya😌 ‘ Ama ni mimi nilkuua bro? Mbona nateseka hivi bana😏😏 tell me the name of any of your sons nimwombe msamaha’🙁wenye walkua hapo next walianza kuamka pole pole wakienda😂😂. Achana na mapenzi , pussy appointment went wrong ? Unaeza tembea nairobi uchi😆😆

A quick check at my phone ilkua saa mbili. Baridi imenipiga proper. Nilkua na ile singlet yangu ya I can do hard things; aty ndo nikunywe Vee 😔😔aki wasichana wa Thekah. I had despaired , ni kaa alkua ameniblock juu hata dp sikua naona. Nikaamka now feeling more drunk than I was. Nikapigia Lewi kuuliza wako parte wapi, akanishow nipate kina Bena Diaspora 🥳ye ako na form ingine. Nilkua nimejikubali. Just as I was about to cross the road a gal ran up to me. ‘Ni wewe?’

My heart stopped 🙁. I looked at her confused. Pink sweet magenta lips 👄. Medium height, light skin , a voluptuous whench she couldn’t be Vee. I was salivating already. My head below was getting hard and you you know once it’s hard the head above can’t function 😂😂men’ stragos. Nikapiga hesabu haraka. …. wueeh babe 🥰you look so pretty in this Nairobi night light 💡 😉😉can your phone take a good selfie? God knows I have been longing forever for this 😜😜. ‘Yes darling, na pole kukuchelewesha… I hope you aren’t mad’ she said breathlessly.

Mbona nikue mad na nimeangukia mali ya wenyewe 😂😂. I took her phone being the taller one I was to be the selfie stick. Her hands were all over me. Her head rested on my bare chest her strong cologne filling my nostrils with a demon like desire 😋😋. There was no way I was letting her go. We took two selfies na nikampeleka stage ya Rongai teke teke tusishikwe na mwenye bidhaa. I switched her phone to flight mode in case the unlucky nigga called 😂😂hii Nairobi ni ujanja.

Luckily her guy was from Rongai and he had never sent her his photo 😂😂. A simple mistake and here kush Kush kijana ya Mungu nikaangukia mali. I was forced to turn into a Kevin hart to distract this gal from asking me questions. We kissed a few times when I had nothing to say and the journey back to Rongai was a success 😂. I had made it👻👻thanks to Jah or the devil or is it the ancestors ?👿 I really donno 😂😂. As it would turn out the gal ni wale wa vitenge 🤪yaani wife material kwa wale hawaelewi.

Within a few minutes alkua amespin ugali ikaclick😊. Stew 🍲 nayoo. And so it happened I ate the two course meal 🥘 properly 😜yaani the meal and it’s chef 👩‍🍳. It was an epic night, a night to remember 😂. So the next morning sato the gal said she won’t stay that day but I insisted atleast she should leave in the afternoon 😂. There was no way she would leave without a daytime gig 🥳that’s the devil in me talking 😂. Kina Lewi requested to have brunch at my house one bedroom room na singekataa. Watajua aje me ni bazu?😂😂 that’s my luo spirit😂😂

Now for those who don’t know brunch is a special meal for comrades. A combination of breko and lunch eaten at 1157am to confuse the digestive system 😂😂. Things took an ugly twist when my pretty darling called me Lewis 😳😳. Could it be ? My heart again stopped. Nguvu ikaisha hadi kwa magoti. Lewis… came the second beckon 😎’kuja unirarulie kwa carpet 🥵🥵’. Hata singeharden 🤪. Nikafake phone call nikatoka nje , completely ignoring her 😂😂

I called Bena. Umeona Lewi? … what followed was shocking. Lewi alienda kumeet manzi tao, kufika tao dem akamzimia simu hadi saa hii 😂😂. Bena wouldn’t control the laughter. It wasn’t funny for me. My heart was beating 😂😂. It’s was Lewi who had called earlier to come for brunch at my house 😂😂 ntakufa leo walahi. What’s the name of his gal. Carol 😳😳😳🤭🤭. There was no time to explain. Nikaambia Bena akate simu. There was no explaining to do.

Let’s go babe my dad ananingoja tao 😜😜I lied. All the while my heart thumping at 200 beats per minute. Nilienda tao na short na crocs walahi 😂😂. It was a close shave 🥵. I explained to the gal on our way she smiled 😊kissed me on the cheek. Hii ni Nai-raw-bae😎😎 her sexy voice came through. For two weeks I kept avoiding Lewi sadly nimetoboa hapa. Anyway huniezi Lewi 😂😂kuja uniue alaaa😂😂😂

YOLO. The opinion of a fool 😀😜

I do not believe in struggling. I believe that God created enough for everyone. He also made us unique so that we can help each other in case we are inadequate in a particular area. For example, doctors treat patients, and teachers educate students, etc. On a micro level, God gives you family and friends who can help you sort your issues. You should assist them as well.

Why are you struggling despite these safeguards put in place by God? Well, I believe it is because someone somewhere is not playing his part. That person could be you. It could be an individual close to you, or perhaps it is a person you do not know.

For example, maybe you are struggling to live in a posh area when you should be in a low-income area. You could also be living in a one-bedroom house when you should be in a bedsitter. In truth, you are stupid. Cut your coat according to your cloth. Life is that simple. Instead, we choose to live in a constant state of want where we have little or no surplus.

Perhaps you are struggling to please the apple of your eye. Leave that fool alone. Remember, affection is free and effortless. If you are struggling to get it, then what you seek is not love so let it be.

Remember, a relationship should be an exchange of affection. It should not be an exchange of sex/money for affection.

I have watched men avoiding ‘ugly’ women who have the right qualities for a wife. Similarly, I have witnessed women avoiding ‘poor’ male companions who have the right kind of heart for a husband. Moreover, both genders try to marry someone they can show off as a trophy to their family members, friends, or colleagues. Still, you wonder why you struggle. Still, you wonder why happiness is so elusive.

Another case of unwarranted suffering occurs when people who are close to you fail to act right. Family members are usually guilty of this sin. You might find that your relatives seek drama, but they avoid progress. All they can offer you is endless quarrels. Backbiting is also the order of the day. In this case, you are struggling because someone knows you have a strong attachment to him or her. That attachment, if abused, is slavery.

I have also noticed that some people hang around bad company. Companions you have to impress with the way you talk or dress. You have to own the right car and live in a ‘proper’ neighborhood. “When are we going out?” is the only thing you would hear from some of your friends. That is sad. Since when did friendship have conditions attached to it? Endelea tu na ujinga yako. That is why you are struggling.

Of course, I cannot forget the government & other authorities. These entities thrive on limiting the freedoms of those they govern. That is why so many people struggle. Why should doctors be on strike when they could be conducting research on cancer? Where is the money the government takes from us?

We create unnecessary frustrations and tensions when we fail to play our part. More importantly, we invite hate into our hearts when we struggle so hard with little or no success. Do you agree with me? What causes our suffering? Is it natural? Is it the result of someone’s irresponsible behavior? Or am I just a fool having fantasies of a world that will never exist?

Kush is thinking of marriage.

I cannot sleep right now and I do not have any active arguments online. Lately I have been sleeping in the morning hours since nights are becoming too interesting online for one to sleep. At night the world comes alive on social media, the fun and crazy conversations are a thing I never want to miss . Last night was no different especially with the amazing action of the UEFA EURO between the Belgians and Italians. Finding no sleep….Therefore, I thought it would be nice if I wrote something small. It is about marriage. Many of the friends I went to school with are married right now with a kid or two to show. I look at myself and I say, “Thank God, I made it this far, a luta continua.” Marriage is a serious thing and I intend to be a good husband, but more importantly, a good father. That means preparation and prayer. Besides am in campus with no income to support myself leave alone a wife! Most of those married friends are either working or come from wealthy backgrounds that can support them without struggle.

I remember talking to a beautiful chick (one of the top ten most beautiful women I ever met. Yes, I have a personal top 10 list) when I was fifteen or so. We were talking religion. I told her that I must examine who was right between the SDA’s and Catholics. She told me it is impossible. I concurred adding that this dispute covers many centuries. How can I know who is right within a lifetime? Well, I got my answer albeit six or so years later. Now I can teach my children the SDA faith with confidence.

In campus, I started thinking from a broader perspective than I had thought before I got to university. I wanted to decide between faiths. In fact, I wanted to see if faith in itself was correct. Again, I think I covered that one. Atheism is a limited form of philosophy much like a child who never grows. It also became apparent that the basis of Christianity is Truth and Love, unlike other world religions. Only those two things are real so faiths that emphasize on anything else other than these two concepts have inherent flaws.

As you can see, my preparation towards marriage is fundamentally different from that pursued by other people. Next, I had to deal with lust because it makes you stupid. To put it differently, you cannot think clearly when you are a victim of your passions. Men can marry a woman thinking that they love her, but lust is driving them to her, not love. For example, someone could be mistreating you yet you choose to ignore it. You ignore it consciously or subconsciously. I believe I have conquered all aspects of lust with the exception of ogling. That one is still in the works, but I will get there soon.

Finally, there is a woman’s beauty. I admit it. I am vain as reflected in having a top 10 list of beautiful chicks I have met. I have sidelined women simply because I do not find them physically attractive. I believe I have known the most beautiful women this world has to offer or we can just say Kenya for now. Still, I would find tiny flaws in them to help me escape a relationship. For example, there was one with a big forehead. Funny thing is that she is exceptionally beautiful and she does not have a big forehead. It was just my mind helping me avoid commitment.

Anyhow, my next step after conquering ogling is to focus on inner beauty. Doing so would exponentially increase the pool of women available to me. It would also increase their quality. You see, limiting yourself to artificial parameters reduces your chances of happiness substantially. You settle for stupidity, chaos, or unhappiness simply because you value beauty. I always remind myself that my children require a good mother. They would never see her as an ugly person so why am I focusing on it.

Dwelling on such parameters at the expense of a person’s goodness is selfish. I would also term it as a crime against my children. Does that mean I will get an ugly wife? No, it does not because everyone is beautiful. I think I will be ready for marriage as soon as I conquer this final part ceteris paribus. Ni hayo tu kwa sasa. I need to sleep. Leo in church.

Post Script: I have just received a notification that someone replied to a debate I initiated on Facebook. I am still going to sleep for an hour before I go to church. Aah no niko kisii and churches are closed here thanks to COVID. So luckily I’ll have the whole day to decide when I can compensate for the sleep I missed last night. Once again poleni Belgians , and especially to those that did bet on it to win. Have a nice day peeps 😘

Yes, she was eighteen, but what could I do? I had no choice.

Sometimes, I cross my hands behind me as I walk. I love observing. I look at everything e.g. the ground, the buildings, the people, and the birds. I was walking home one day when I saw this girl. Something was different about her. Our eyes connected too quickly. It was as if she was waiting for me to look at her. She looked young so I knew I would smile back and then continue walking. She did not smile. It was a blank stare. I felt uneasy like an event was about to happen. I passed her and then hastened my pace. My arms no longer crossed behind my back but following my steps as if I was ready to fly.

I looked back then I saw her following me. I tried to convince myself that what is happening is not happening. It was happening. I increased my pace. She did the same. Then she said, “Do you know where XYZ church is. I felt like running away, but now I could sense some desperation in her voice.” I stopped, and then I let her approach. I was still cautious because her eyes and her shaky voice indicated that an event was about to unfold. Luckily, the church was in the opposite direction. I would point her there and then run in the other one. Yes, I had decided I was going to run.

I was clear. I was meticulous. I even gestured as I showed her the direction. She did not budge. She kept looking at me blankly. She was now quite as if she wanted me to ask her something. I could also see her eyes up close. She needed help so I asked, “Kuna shida yeyote.”

Someone had conned her. He had taken off with a phone her dad had bought for her a couple of days prior. It was her gift for her for clearing high school. I realized it was a group acting together based on her story. She had no phone to call home and the expected reaction from her mom terrified her. She had broken down and approached a woman who looked friendly and caring. The woman merely asked her to find a church that was nearby and then left her. She could not locate it. Then she saw me and felt like I could help her. Now we are in the middle of the street and she starts crying.

Can you imagine being in the middle of the street with an eighteen-year-old girl who is crying? I was about 28 then. Interestingly, the women were the ones looking at us in a judgmental way. I had to get her in a controlled environment. I also had to keep her calm. I started walking her towards my place.

We got to my building. There is a small shop downstairs. I explained everything to the shopkeeper. I told her that taking the girl to my place was out of the question. I got a plastic chair for her and then I told her she could ask for anything besides cigarettes and alcohol. She wanted alcohol. I told her no. I also took a chair and sat next to her as she drank her water. The time to call her parents had come, but I had to know everything. We talked and joked until she was no longer scared of calling her folks. She decided that her mom was her first option. She did not want to hear the sound of disappointment in her dad’s voice.

I called her mother. She was rude. She even thought that I was her boyfriend. She disconnected the phone. I could not believe it. How could you end a call when your daughter is in trouble? I called her again. This time I tried to be as clear and as soft as possible, but she disconnected it again. How could I tell the girl that her mother did not care? I decided to break it down again with her using jokes, lessons in life, and sound bites of hope. She calmed down and agreed that we should now call her dad. I was to begin the conversation again because she felt too scared to do it.

Her dad listened. He never disconnected the phone even though I could feel that he thought I was taking advantage of her daughter. He said that he was coming. True to his word, he came in about an hour. The boda boda parked just outside the shop. The rider came at me straight away spoiling for a fight.

Somehow, I had predicted this kind of behavior, but I felt that it would come from her dad. I knew the best approach was to avoid a confrontational attitude. The truth itself would defend me. The two of them tried to provoke me. They even tried to scare me saying they would call the police. I told them that they should do so. I also assured them that the police could track that phone and if they needed help or contacts there, they should ask me. They relaxed so the shopkeeper got a chance to talk to them. The dad also talked to his daughter. The rider felt ashamed.

The father and the daughter prepared to go home. The girl stole a moment to come back to me and say thank you. Then I said a final word to the dad, “Please let me know how things go.” He never did. That was the last that I ever saw of the two.

Stop the blade

Nasapai not her real name,

But eleven years old her real age,

The age that introduces her to womanhood,

After the evil initiation to adulthood,

Married off to forty three year old “mad” man,

Almost four times her age,

The victim of the blade.

The practice that gives “recognition”

The practice that brings “acceptance”

The practice that gives”identity”

Where parents are possessed by the culture,

The supporters against mother nature,

Village elders the champions of the blade.

They don’t care about their health,

They are busy raping the future generation,

It was never their mistake to be born female,

So why pass them through female genital mutilation,

Little girls with painful revelations

Too young,some die,

The blade.

Their tears are droplets into the ocean,

As sacrificial lamb they obey,

But who cares about the future?

Who is willing to invest without interest?

Who is willing?

Willing to fight for the girlchild at this hour,

The hour of horror and terror,

The blade that cuts the present and the future,

The blade

#stoptheblade

Young writer

I love writing,

This is what I’ve always fancied.

It’s a skill,

A skill to write down how I feel.

Expressing in words the inner me.

It’s my special gift.

You’ll never know until you know,

Having this ability keeps me going,

And makes me strong 💪

I yearn for more.

More of the adventures that comes along,

Giving me the chance to explore-

Explore the massive lands and horizons,

Mysterious places which make me long for,

For the fantasy and supremacy

With neither kind of inferiority.

This is my love towards my art ❤️

It makes me smile 😊,

Smile because of the beauty of art!

The art that comes forth my hands – But!😔

But I care less!😏

Care less for the misfortunes that’ll come along!

It’s a minute expectation.

Like that of the foolish virgins,

The virgins that failed to keep theirs burning!😠

The whole world shall now Stand aside,

With words of purity I’m ready to strike,

Like thunder and lightning from a gay sky.

They’ll learn never to again snatch my piece,😠

The piece I struggled for in peace!

But the adage goes,

When the power of love shall overcome the love of power,the world shall know peace!

Because in people like me,

The word failure does not exist!😏